What is Happiness?

What is Happiness?

For Simpatico's third anniversary, I knew I had to write a blog, and the topic was easy: Happiness. Our motto is Friends – Happiness – Life, and this guides our mission: to encourage and help our friends and customers to Find Friends, Hone Happiness, and Live Life.

But what does it truly mean to Hone Happiness? How do we work at improving, sharpening, and cultivating this elusive feeling? Which raises the essential question: What is Happiness?

I absolutely believe that happiness is something we can actively work on and increase. But since happiness is inherently personal—what brings me joy may not work for you, I decided to conduct a quick, informal survey. While it may not be scientific, I polled family, friends, colleagues, and co-workers across multiple nations, generations, and backgrounds. I wanted to confirm that the quest for happiness knows no boundaries.

The survey was simple, requiring just two quick texts:

1. Fill in the blank: "Happiness is _______"
2. Follow-up: "Think of someone you know very well. What is a telling sign that they are happy?"

The Happiness Hack

Just as I was finalizing this blog, I came across an article by Dana Milbank discussing a six-year research project out of Cornell. This research offers a powerful 'happiness hack' that confirms the importance of Simpatico’s motto. Here is an example of what he wrote:

“We’ve been seeking happiness from a dizzying array of self-help methods involving mindfulness, self-care, self-compassion, perseverance, grit, resilience, passion, gratitude, joy, flow, personal boundaries, being intentional and more. Twenty-odd academic centers have sprung up with names such as the Happiness Lab, Human Flourishing Program and Science of Happiness Project.

But maybe we’re overthinking it. In these grim times, the most efficient path to living a contented life may be to put ourselves through the same simple exercise of thinking about our purpose and then taking a step — even a modest one — toward fulfilling it. It’s not a replacement for other mental health interventions, but the surest path to happiness for many of us could be as simple as this: Stop trying to be happy — and start figuring out how to make other people happy.”

Milbank summarizes a simple yet profound truth that social science is now confirming: we might be overthinking happiness. We spend immense energy on self-care, mindfulness, and resilience, when the most efficient path to well-being might be surprisingly direct:

Stop trying to be happy—and start figuring out how to make other people happy.

__________________

“In a sense, social science is confirming what the philosophers knew. Aristotle believed that the good life required living with purpose. Nietzsche wrote that “he who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

This idea—shifting focus outward toward purpose and contribution—is not new; the philosophers knew it, and so does old folk wisdom. But in our chaotic modern lives, it’s a truth we often take for granted. Sometimes we need a university study to dust off these simple, powerful truths and bring them back into public practice.

Happiness is Connection

The findings of the Simpatico Happiness Survey aligned perfectly with this outward-focused perspective. Here’s what my global network had to say about the two questions:

1. "Happiness is _______"

There were common themes, highlighting that happiness is rarely a solitary pursuit:

…Family and Friends (Number One Response): We overwhelmingly find happiness in our connection and relationship with others.

…Faith/Religion: Happiness is found within the peace and confidence of our spiritual identity.

…Purpose: Living purposefully and being self-aware defined happiness for many.

…Good Health and Freedom.

…A choice: A conscious decision we make every day.

We also received some beautifully diverse responses, including:

Happiness is… Achievable, …Fleeting, …Internal, …Everywhere,… Mine to share.

And this one…Happiness is altruism, is earned, is family, is service, is appreciation, is given, is mucho love

2. "What is a telling sign that someone is happy?"

Again there was a common thread, but the answers showed less variation and focused heavily on outward expression and energy:

…Smiles, Eyes, and Body Language (Majority): A natural, easy smile, a light in their eyes ("the window to the soul"), and relaxed body language.

…Aura, Energy, or Presence (Second Most Common): This was described as a 'vibe' or 'personality' that radiated joy, peace, calmness, and positive energy. One participant noted: "They radiate, give off a different form of energy, like their soul is lighter."

…Engagement: Being fully present in the moment, active with a sense of purpose and passion.

Notable responses: "An over the top laugh. The deep belly kind, snorting or wheezing, laughing hard without care of anything else in that moment." and "Doing something for someone else."

One response captured the essence of "Honing Happiness" perfectly:

"I can tell they are 'being' because they are aware, awake, and accepting, while maintaining the same ambitions I know them for. It’s almost like they are pausing time to feel and accept the moment they are in. You can see and feel their joy when they are mindful that, although they have pursuits and goals, the pursuits don’t define their sense of peace/happiness."

The Daily Choice

The common threads—purpose, connection, and presence—validate the Simpatico motto. We can actively increase our happiness by choosing to practice gratitude, build meaningful relationships, find chances to serve and contribute, and embrace being fully present.

As for me? Happiness is

… breaking bread, sharing a meal and conversation with family friends even perfect strangers.

…holding hands with my love on a long drive.

And I know the ones I love are happy when

…I see a twinkle in her eyes

…he whistles unconsciously as he walks around the house.  

…he laughs with abandonment and pure joy.

Happiness is a conscious choice that we get to make every day. Choose happiness, work at it, and keep making it a daily decision. It’s not always easy, but it's always worth it.

Mucho love.

 Jose Tovar.