Of Shoes and Friends – Growing up and decision making.

Of Shoes and Friends – Growing up and decision making.

As Simpatico celebrates our second year of existence, the idea of growing up and the first memories of decision making as a child come to mind.

I grew up in a time and place where kids had few pairs of shoes. It was the norm to have a pair for special occasions, a pair for school and a pair for everyday/playing and such. We wore school uniforms, wearing tennis shoes outside the school gym was not a thing until years later. 

I like shoes, I have lots of shoes. As I try to figure out why that is and how it all started, one childhood memory keeps playing in my mind. I remember the first time that I was allowed to choose and decide the purchase of shoes for school. I was 6 or 7 years old at the time. Sure, I did not pay for them, and I had to meet certain criteria on type of shoes, price, color, and such, but oh boy! I got to decide what shoes to buy, thus wear to school.

I remember feeling excited about this new experience, the pride and responsibility bestowed upon me by my mother, it was my choice to carefully select a pair of shoes for school, from what I am sure was a predetermined limited selection already made by my mom. That first, simple, single step of independence and responsibility had a significant impact on me as a kid. Not only did I get to choose what shoes to buy, but the decision also came with a new desire to care for my shoes, so I learned how to clean/polish and shine shoes.

I remember taking extra exceptional care of those shoes, going out of my way to keep them looking clean and brand new. Before going to sleep, I would place them up neatly at the foot of my bed, so they would be ready to go in the morning for another day at school.

Making friends is another life experience where we get to decide early on as kids, who we choose and decide to call friends. It may be at school or in your neighborhood and your choices may be restricted at first but at some point, as a kid you get to decide who you want to hang out with, who do you want to share you comic books with, invite to the circus when your parent have an extra ticket, or to go out of town for the weekend with your parents.

A while back I observed that in my experience, shoes are like friends.

Early on, my shoes were selected for me, so were my friends.

I like my shoes, and I tried to care for them, I like to think that I have done a decent job, but in some cases I have failed and not done a good job. Same goes for my friends.

I have shoes that I consider classics from high school and even college, they are old but never out of style. I do my best to take care of them. They are worn, comfortable and fit me well. I am blessed to also have friends like this.

There are shoes that I may have worn once or just a couple of times for special occasions, places, jobs, etc. In my life I have met wonderful people in passing, through jobs, journeys or circumstances that briefly brought us together. I am thankful for them.

Some shoes are just not good for you. They looked great at the store, but it turned out to be a wrong decision, they fell apart, not made to last, not the right size, they give you blisters or make your feet hurt. I have known friends like this as well.

Sometimes we lose a shoe, but you do not lose hope and keep looking for it, until when you least expect it, it finds you. Or sometimes we need to have our favorite shoes repaired, mended, and give them extra loving care. It is the same with friends.

There are shoes that others may consider ugly, out of style, useless. To me they remain beautiful, precious, timeless, and essential to my soul and wellbeing.I am beyond lucky to have friends like that.

Some shoes are made specially for extreme conditions and situations where normal footwear do not stand a chance. They are usually put away in a special place, ready to go at moment’s notice, emergency mode. You do not wear them all the time, but you take care of them and value their role and purpose. We all need friends like this.

Then there are the shoes that fit you exactly right, even if they have seen plenty of miles, stepped in puddles, chewing gum and dog crap, changed shoelaces a couple of times and have new soles. No matter what, these shoes were there for you and will be for the long haul. I am blessed again to have friends like that.

Whether you see the connection between shoes and friends or not, I challenge us all, to do more friend/shoe shining.

• What kind of shoes/friends do you have?
•  Do you take care of your shoes/friends? How so?

Thanks for supporting Simpatico and reading my blog, I hope you enjoyed it and that we continue to inspire and help you Find Friends, Hone Happiness and Live Life and get your Simpatico vibe on.

Mucho love,

Jose Tovar